As promised in a prior blog, I'd like to expand on this topic a bit more.
Lesson #1 ALLOWING OTHERS TO HELP YOU IS LOVING YOURSELF AND LOVING THEM -
I had offers of help, even in the sub zero temps we were experiencing in Chicago.
A dear friend braved the frigid temperatures to go to the store. She bought me the fruits, oatmeal and soup that I needed to build some strength once I was rehydrated. Plus she added lovely tulips to bring a bit of a smile to my weary face and warm my spirit. And to think I almost didn’t let her.
Why do we struggle so much with asking for and accepting help?
It is the usual culprit that stops us from all sorts of things - FEAR.
Fear of rejection, fear of appearing weak, fear of not being worthy of someone going out of their way for us - all of these Fears or one of these fears are at play.
When someone says ‘no’ to us, for whatever reason they have, it is quite natural to personalize and make the ‘no’ be about us. They must not like us or they think we are a bother. Rather than accepting that the ‘no’ meant nothing, merely ‘no’.
Those internal self doubt feelings lead us right to the fear of ‘not being worthy’. These are the fear emotions that fuel the conversation in our head.
We say to ourselves that the other person has more important things to do than help us, and we generally feel that asking them to go out of their way is imposing on their ‘more important’ life and activities that are in their life.
Or in the case of sub-zero temps, I struggled with thinking I was subjecting others to inconvenience and discomfort. I heard the voice in my head asking, why would they want to freeze, just because I am sick?
A FEAR that men face even more often than women, due to the societal roles generally accepted for men - the fear of appearing weak.
Also many women, including me, do not like to appear weak or incapable of caring for themselves. Delays in asking for help often are good indicators of that particular fear in many of us.
So what are we to do when these voices in our head create feelings of fear?
And in case you are wondering, we do all have a voice in our head that tries to direct us, pretty much at all times.
For those of you saying, ‘what voice in my head’ as you read this - that’s the voice! :)
What we need to do is to silence the barrage of fear with new and powerful thoughts. Love is the most powerful.
Loving ourselves is doing what we need for our own health, including asking others to help us when we need it. We ALL MATTER! We are ALL WORTHY!
We each deserve happiness, good health and love.
It was wonderful to graciously accept help from family and a friend who shared caring and love with me. It felt great, and my health quickly returned, along with my happiness to feel good again.
Next time the voice in your head starts ranting on and on with fears of rejection, self doubt and weakness -
LOVE YOURSELF, & calmly take your next actions with Love as your guidepost!
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