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Listening to Men Listening to Women

9/29/2014

 
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An earlier blog titled 'Listening', explored the effects of technology and multiple conversations on listening, relationships and productivity.

This week, I thought I’d share an interesting insight I gained from listening to other women and men at a Landmark Wisdom workshop I attended.

Here’s the particular scenario that I found particularly interesting:

*One man commented, in response to the following question from a woman 
‘Why do men look at other women?’ 

He said that for him, it was much like going to an art gallery.  He enjoyed and found interest and beauty in each and every piece of art.  Yet, he emphasized as he continued to answer the question, that he certainly didn't want to bring them all home with him.

And of course, we all chuckled at that!

Each man in attendance responded out loud to this question, and it was fascinating to me to notice that each one spoke with almost a sense of reverence about the female body and physique.  

It was obvious that this room of men, and they said their views were pretty much the norm for men they knew, really liked women.  

They admitted that they found women’s shapes intriguing - small, thin, large, curvy - all shapes were mentioned as being great.  They did not really discriminate, and actually said they pretty much glanced at every woman they saw.  They said it felt like they were compelled to do so naturally.

My aha moment about this was that while we women often accuse men of looking at the ‘hot women’ or the ‘younger or sexier women’ or the ‘prettier women’ -  
after openly listening to the men, I realized that if the men were actually looking at all the women, I wasn't noticing it.  

I only noticed when a man looked at a woman that I considered ‘a threat’ based on comparing her looks to mine.  That meant that I too was looking at those particular women.  All the other women that were equally noted by my accompanying male companions were dismissed by me and not even noticed.

I found this to be more an insight about me and my perceptions than about men..........……indeed, an interesting discovery.

So men..........…would you agree with the men in my workshop?  Do you look at and appreciate pretty much ALL women?  

And women........ what do you think about my insight?  any thoughts?

Please leave a comment below or post one on my BestYOU facebook page.  I'd love to hear your thoughts!

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julianbl
9/30/2014 02:18:41 pm

Let me give you the best case from the male side, with one really giant assumption which is that in a hetrosexual relationship, both parties are putting in the effort to make the relationship work.

Male sexuality is very much oriented to the visual. So heterosexual men are going to be looking at women all the time. When you are in a good relationship, you value the love and companionship, but your biology will still be stimulated by appearances.

Best case, is that the woman who is in the relationship will just tease him about this, because she knows the relationship is strong and well it just funny to be a human being as times. It is a reflection she feels secure in the relationship. She realizes he knows what is important.

Mary Roberts
10/5/2014 01:29:24 pm

I agree, Julian that best case is for a woman to be confident in the relationship and handling most situations with humor is also a good thing.
Thanks for your comment!


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