I recently had a nice text from a friend who I haven’t talked to in a number of months. Her text updated me on her life of work, and then she added quite a bit about driving her son and daughter back and forth to various activities, school, etc.  

She called herself the "taxi Mom”. She also implied that the role was draining her.

I have other friends with the same problem of trying to get their children to all their activities, on time and dressed in the right uniforms/clothes etc., plus working and managing a household.

And I have lots of friends who remember well, this time of driving to and fro for our children, and though that time is past, we are still juggling activities.

Then there are those of you reading this who are just trying to get yourself to your own activities and work on time and dressed appropriately.

Hahaha - no matter the generation, and with or without children - same words to the song - just perhaps a slightly different tune being played :)

Whether you are rushing from activity to activity for yourself or for others - during the most frantic times of your day - take a moment and STOP everything.  

Just close your eyes, Breathe in and out deeply a few times, consciously focusing on the movement of your stomach or following the breath in and out of your nostrils. If you are driving or holding a baby - then, please don’t close your eyes :)

Taking just this short break will calm your nerves a bit, provide a bit of balance and help you move through the next rushed set of actions you will take.  If you find yourself feeling ultra frazzled and drained again later in the day, STOP again for just a moment and Breathe!

Remember, we do not have to do everything ‘perfectly’ and by ourselves. Reaching out to others for some help, organizing car pools and taking turns with all the transportation needs of our children can help.

The same holds true for those of us coping with our own schedules, minus the children.  Reach out to others when you need some relief or help.  You may be surprised how willing they are to make your life a little easier :)  We all need a little help sometimes.

My parting thought on this very important ‘not enough time and rushing to and fro’ concern we all seem to share: Take Care of Yourself -

A Taxi with no fuel won't take anyone, anywhere. 

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My inspiration for this week's post came from a Landmark friend who wondered if seeing all happiness, optimism and upbeat from me is misleading?  When we talked, she questioned whether I was perhaps hiding my feelings.  I am so thankful for her trusting that I would welcome her input and appreciate her view.  

I loved thinking about this and would like to share my thoughts.

I definitely feel the whole range of feelings, as do most people.  I have had plenty of sad times and experienced physical and emotional pain.....and disappointment and anger and jealousy and fear...and the list goes on.  

At the same time, my default nature is positive, upbeat and optimistic.  Half full is a minimum threshold for me, with the 'low fuel' light going on as I pass the half full mark.

I like being a 'full glass', and I enjoy sharing with others when my spirits and joy are overflowing.  I want to feel abundance, joy, love and radiance.  

As soon as I start depleting, I get in some type of action - even if that 'action' is sleep - something that will start refilling and restoring my spirits, so that I can fulfill my natural tendency to want to give and be loving to myself and to others.  

For me, I am most comfortable in the 'up' side of life, and I am rather uncomfortable in a 'down' state.  Over time, I've learned how to manage and cope with the 'lows' in such a way that they really do not last very long before I am again gaining positive momentum.  I feel the emotions, acknowledge them, and then I focus on moving to a more positive state.  Yoga has also been a big help.

I've also observed that people are different in this regard.  We all share the human experience of a wide range of emotions, and I believe we all want to be happy.  

There are people who cope and are more comfortable hanging out in the sad or low, nearly empty state for longer periods of time.  They outwardly may not appear happy, but may in fact be quite content.  Expressing through complaints and a seemingly pessimistic view is often their way of sharing and realism in their view.  

Half full or half empty are equally valid ways of being, and there is not a right or wrong in your way of being.

My friend's input was quite intuitive and it has been true, that I've been guarded in what feelings I've shown, with all but a select few people in my life.  And it is true, that in the past, I would avoid seeing people, rather than share my 'lows'.  

Yet even those that have seen my lowest states would attest to my being an optimistic person.  

In sharing the happy, optimistic, upbeat Me, I may not have shared all my ranges of emotion with everyone.  I've not however, been misleading or hiding my true self.  

Happy, optimistic and upbeat are accurate descriptors of me.  Sharing all of my emotions with everyone is coming much easier for me these days, thanks to the Landmark Forum. 

Unless you live with me though, it will be tough to catch some of those down emotions from me.  Not because I never have them, and not because I'm hiding them - just because they don't stay around very long in my life.

Leave a comment below or post one on my BestYOU facebook page.  Sharing your thoughts is a gift to all of us!

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I grew up learning that the "keys" to communication are expressing, speaking and verbalizing language.  Courses in public speaking were among my favorite in school, and developing a comfort with speaking and writing helped me to be successful in many areas of life. 

When I did my coaching training, the focus turned to Listening.  I came to realize that while others often told me what a good listener I was, and I thought I was a good listener too - my listening had not been ideal.

Have you ever been listening to someone, and then found yourself thinking more about your own response to something they said, than actually continuing to listen to the person?

Were you silently focusing on your own thought or rewording how you wanted to say it, and wishing they'd hurry and stop talking, so you could share your thought?  Or maybe you even interrupted them?

Being silent implies listening, when in fact, attentive listening may not have been occurring at all.  

Busted.............me too:)

We were all taught that generally, Listening is passive.  I now know otherwise.

Success in life often requires,  speaking, writing and presentation skills to communicate effectively and to work with or lead others, but Listening is not a secondary or minor and passive activity.  Listening is equally important to effective communication.

Without Active Listening, no matter how well our words are presented, there is NO Communication.  

Our everyday interactions with loved ones and friends have long established patterns that are difficult to break.  I hear from clients and friends that their significant others , parents, siblings 'don't really Listen to them'.  Life distractions and years of half-hearted listening are the typical listening we get from others.

Even attempts at listening from business colleagues or well meaning friends result in an  empathetic form of listening.   Family, Friends and colleagues are great for empathy and venting sessions.  They cannot lose their personal relationship filters when listening.

Anyone can benefit from a little guidance, support and accountability.  Much as a trainer at the gym helps you achieve your fitness goals, so does a coach guide you and assist in figuring out next steps for your life and the development of life and career goals.

Most of my coaching is done on the phone, and attentive listening is guaranteed!

If you've ever considered working with a career or life coach, check out my website and send me an email.  Initial sessions are free.    www.BestYOUconsulting.com   Mary@BestYOUconsulting.com

I am having fun writing this blog and being active on social media!  
Reaching as many people as possible and positively impacting lives is my goal.  

Negativity, complaints, anger and violence abound in our world. Our children,  grandchildren and future generations will benefit from the actions we take today.  
My stand is for a happy, healthy and loving world............beginning with me:)

Just as without Listening, there is no meaning to the spoken word.........without Reading, there is no meaning to the written word.

If you are reading this line, I am communicating with YOU, and thank you for taking your valuable time to read my posts:) 

Some of you have sent me positive and insightful email messages and reactions to one or more of my posts.  Those comments are really appreciated!

What YOU think matters and is worth sharing.

Please let me know if there is an issue you'd like me to write about.  Your issue may be the one everyone is waiting to hear about.  Thanks!

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I’ve been thinking quite a bit lately about my world view and had lots of flight time recently to write some of my thoughts and share a story that was pivotal in altering my views. 

Living a smaller life provides a blanket of comfort and security…... though it typically is a false security.  Living a smaller life also allows us to ‘live on remote control’, as we become so familiar with our daily routines.

Fear of the unknown and familiarity thus often shapes the framework of our lives. Even when living fearless and boldly would open up an endless array of possibilities.

Recently I journeyed to Istanbul for work and London to visit family. I have enjoyed the wonders of Turkey and traveled there on 4 separate occasions.  

Yet, my mother cried each time and worried about my travels, because the news stations she listens to are filled with the turmoil and violence in that region of the world. She believes that Americans are hated overseas, particularly by Muslims.

The news depicts areas around the world as places and people to fear. Fear attracts audiences and sells newspapers. Generalities are the soundbites of today’s news.

I'm not suggesting that the turmoil is not real, but I choose to not live my life in fear. I also know first hand, that the news is a very limited and incomplete view.

Chicago news also is focused on murders and crime, yet the news does not reflect the world I daily live in. And yes, my mother daily worries about my living in such a “violent city”, and she daily worries about her grand daughter, my daughter, living so far away in the bustling city of London.

I understand my mother’s fears and worries are truly expressions of her love.

And yet my experiences through travel have been among the most enlightening and enjoyable times in life! My world view is a direct result of travels and meeting people from around the world.  

My own expression of love has grown to extend beyond my country’s borders.  I choose to expand my circle of love and to touch more lives with my love and to feel the touch of others’ love in return.  

I am grateful to the Turkish people I met on my first trip to the Aegean Coast who forever changed my worldview...................and now for the story: 

My ex husband was a presenter at a NATO conference 20 years ago. As I mentioned, my mother cried, and that first trip to Turkey, I too had fears.  According to the news in the US, all Muslims hated Americans and Muslims were likely ‘terrorists’.  

I wondered why they invited Americans to be speakers if we were so hated, and my curiosity and the chance for such an exotic trip compelled me more than fear.

A bit of a side note is that we had been saving for quite some time to buy a dining room table and chairs for our empty dining room. My idea was to start over with saving for the dining set and spend the saved money on my airfare and some spending money for the trip to Turkey. It was money that was well spent!

Upon arrival at the Istanbul airport, my fears intensified when we departed the plane and first encountered the hundreds of people “shouting” in Turkish and waving their arms frantically and holding signs, initially seeming to us to be picketing or rioting in the airport.  We also noted the security guards with guns standing strategically throughout the airport, which heightened, rather than lessened our anxiety.  

We commented softly to each other to stay calm and maybe they wouldn’t realize we were Americans.  We wondered if they knew some Americans were coming and were telling us to ‘go home’? We were truly frightened to be in the middle of such tension, not understanding the language and having no idea what would come next.

What did come next, was a business-suited gentleman holding up a sign that had our name clearly displayed.  He spoke heavily accented, but understandable English, and welcomed us. 

Hmmmmm, he didn't seem much like a terrorist.  We followed him.  

Though we still felt nervous as we entered a car with this stranger, it appeared to be our best option in a foreign place at nearly midnight, with a “protest” in progress at the airport.

After a few minutes of silence, I ventured to cautiously ask about the “situation at the airport”, and at first our driver seemed confused by my question. So I continued to rephrase and reword my questions as politely and simply as I could. We eventually understood each other.  

It was explained that what appeared to be a “protest or riot”  was merely expressive people shouting out names and greetings to their loved ones arriving on the plane. Our driver laughed a bit at our worries about a riot or protest. Also, the gentleman driver took us to our accommodations, pointed out some of the sites along the way and helped us with our luggage. We were professionally and hospitably taken care of from the moment we met him.

This was the first of many misunderstandings from that first visit. Time and again, we realized just how similar the Turkish people were to us. 

I have come to know the Turkish people as warm, hospitable, intelligent, hard working, entrepreneurial and very principled.  They take great pride in their country and proudly share their culture with others. Their values are much the same as mine, and they have very strong family ties.  They are also fun and love for everyone to have a good time.

If you are someone who already travels abroad and notes the busy airports and thousands of travelers that do travel, you might be surprised by the following statistic:

Fewer than half of Americans even have a passport to travel abroad. 46% is the official statistic as of Jan 2014, according to State Department. 

If you are among those without a passport or you have not traveled recently, choose to live boldly and share yourself and your family with others around the world.

Make a plan, and act on it……..  amazing adventures and interesting cultures await you!

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