I am grateful for you being here, right now, sharing your time with me.  Thank You!


To make way for a loving world, and that of course includes me, I realized I needed to give up some things.  And I acknowledge to you that these are not easy for me to give up, and I have made and will continue to make some mistakes along the way. 

A loving world includes forgiveness and loving oneself enough to acknowledge mistakes, take responsibility for any mess than needs to be cleaned up, and then move on to a new, happy moment.

Here's the list I came up with:
 

Giving up the illusion of perfection   
In my case, I am choosing to Act, rather than delay in the quest for perfection.  I choose to accept my best at any given moment and on any given day.  Some days my best is better than on other days, and that is ok.

Giving up  having to be right  
I've come to recognize that 'right' is very much perception based. 

Does it matter if your significant other says the wrong date or wrong name or wrong place when they are telling a story at a party?  Do we really need to correct every little thing?  At what cost?  Which is really more important - being a kind and loving listener and partner/friend or focusing on being exact and 'right'? I choose to be loving rather than right.

Giving up trying to control others  
We each have our own journeys, and while I will lovingly share my views and experiences, trying to control others just strains relationships with family, work colleagues, friends and others.  I choose to Let others Be.

Giving up the need for blame  
In thinking about this one, does it matter who started the argument or who made the mistake?  Helping to resolve an issue without placing blame will quickly extinguish the problem.  Pointing a finger and blaming escalates the situation every time.  I choose happiness, my mental health and love over blame.

Giving up complaining  -  In my Landmark Seminar, one of our assignments was to track complaints for a week, ours and others, and take notes.  

I realized with some friends, the only thing we had in common was complaining about a particular situation we shared in the past.  No matter what topic I raised, eventually we would end up again complaining about the past.  

I also noticed when doing the assignment that the more often I repeated the story of my 'bad experience' or 'complaint of the moment', the more agitated I became and supportive friends kept me in the complaining mode even longer, as I felt validated by their sympathy.  

Complaints keep negativity and feelings of dissatisfaction fueled.  I choose to de-escalate, to act to solve problems, and to move on.


I choose to turn my complaints into possibilities that support a happy, healthy and loving world!

Please leave a comment or post one on my BestYOU facebook page.  I'd love to hear your thoughts!

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I am grateful for you being here, right now, sharing your time with me.  
Thank You!

Creating space for ease and smooth breath flow is one of the goals of yoga poses.  

In our lives we also are continually seeking an easy flow to our day,  and that flow is more often than not, elusive. 

Periodic starts and stops and disruptions are more the norm. Struggling and then getting annoyed, often follows and accompanies so many of our work days.  Quite often, even our personal time seems harried and puts us into a state of feeling frazzled.

Daily life too often feels like a struggle.

The idea of twists is not only to open up space, but in twisting, the space that opens up is completely different than without the twist. 

In our daily life, a simple twist in perspective or approach can often provide a completely different outcome. There may be a set of results achieved that surpass the original goal, and the different approach may yield a new experience and way of feeling.

My twist today was to not keep jamming more into my day, as I tend to do.  I chose to say 'yes' to what I prioritized at the start of the day, and then I said 'no' to everything else. 

I focused my attention and honored my word about doing what I said I'd do, and accomplished what needed to get done and on time.  Yet,  I kept flowing with ease all day - felt great!

Try to come up with a 'twist' for the approach or perspective in your day or your morning or even for one 90 minute chunk of time.  

Try your twist out, and then please share. Thanks!

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I am grateful for you being here, right now, sharing your time with me.  
Thank You!

I've been thinking about whether it is ever ok to 'burn a bridge' and whether we sometimes  'build bridges' with selfish and inauthentic motives.  Throw in some thoughts on my new understanding of integrity and the wheels are turning in my head.

Now, this new understanding of integrity has to do with something interesting I learned in my restorative yoga class.  Paul, our yoga teacher, reads to us while we are in our restorative poses.  



Paul shared during one reading, that living our true purpose is important to having integrity.  Speaking truth is not the goal, but rather integrity is achieved when speaking and living YOUR Truth ie. being authentic.

Did you pause when reading "speaking truth is not the goal"? I know I questioned it. 

Truth for us as children is very clear cut and tied to naming objects with our language.  Each year of life brings nuances and complexities to our lives that make it much less obvious to know what is 'truth'.  

Back to having integrity and being authentic:

As an example, I am standing for a happy, healthy and loving world.  For me to advertise a fast food restaurant that is known for unhealthy food offerings on my website would not be living My Truth.  

Let's say, on the other hand, that I was standing for a world where no one is hungry.  Then, perhaps low cost food and fast food chains advertised on my website would be living My Truth.  

It is not that I want people to be hungry.  I certainly do not.  Yet, it is not what I am standing for in life.  We each have a unique purpose in life, and mine is tied to a happy, healthy and loving world.

As I have opened my mind and heart to new ideas and learning, I realize that many of my lifelong 'truisms' just do not ring true to me now and are no longer my guiding principles.  

I used to seek to 'build bridges' with everyone.  I now would not choose to 'build a bridge' with unhealthy fast food chains through advertising.  I have no interest in 'burning a bridge', so I give no names.  To live my truth of a 'loving world', then I must also be 'loving' to those that do not share My same Truth about health.

So often we say what we think others want to hear us say - to build bridges.  And we don't say what we are afraid others won't like, so we don't 'burn a bridge'.  
                                                             
What we say and don't say, as we repeat it over and over throughout our lives.......before we know it, that's who we become.  

And I recognized with myself,  that being what everyone else wants us to be or what we think they want us to be, is exhausting.  

If I speak with love in my heart, say my words courteously, and I speak My truth, then there is nothing else to think or worry about.  

Any thoughts on bridges?  Please let me know what YOU think -

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I am grateful for you being here, right now, sharing your time with me.  Thank You!





There is so much to discover, and not just in traveling to places and learning about other cultures. 

What about discovering ourselves, our desires and our priorities?  

Mark Walton, former Chief White House correspondent for CNN and author of Boundless Potential, noted about the late, great Jack Valenti of Motion Picture fame, “Through all his life, he was a work in progress.” 
I feel a kindred spirit to Mr. Valenti, as I too am a never ending work in progress. 

Yet, at the same time, I know that the ‘completed masterpiece’ that is Me already exists.  Discovering is the progress.

I find it interesting that most of us can remember pretty well what happened in the past 5 years, but very few of us can envision what the next 5 years will look like.  The future is a big question mark and even a frustration for many. 

One of the many things brought to my attention in the Landmark Forum was that my actions in the present determine what my future will hold, and of course that makes perfect sense.  And while we think otherwise, most of us do not Act enough.  

We think; 
We worry;
We plan; 
We second-guess;
We revise; 
We come up with excuses;
We complain;
We seek others' opinions.......... and we wait.  

I know I sure have.  Even in what felt like my busiest states of life, much of my actual time was spent on what is listed above.

So, the thoughts in our head have some conflicting chatter going on.  Such as, I really need to call "Joe", but 'maybe he won't answer the phone' and 'he probably doesn't want to hear from me' and 'I guess I could call him tomorrow' and 'I need to figure out the proposal a little better before I call him' and 'he's likely out of the office now anyway' and 'maybe instead I'll send him an email' and 'I think I'll wait until after lunch' and on and on.  The conflict in our own minds, more often than not , gets in the way of action.  

We think and complain and think more and often call it 'planning', and at the end of the day, we feel like we've really worked hard and had a frustrating day.  Yet, if we noted the real 'actions' that took place, the tally would be far less than we would expect.  And the real frustrations are due to our lack of actions.

As I discussed in past blogs -  too much thinking and seeking perfection renders us less effective, not more. 

Something I've found helpful in quieting my mind and being able to deal with the constant chatter in my head is meditation.  I've been learning and practicing meditation for a year and a half now.  

I've practiced yoga poses as a means of exercise and physical healing for pinched nerves in my back for quite a few years, but finding a studio like Tejas Yoga has also helped me to learn about so much more that yoga has to offer.  Discovering me from the inside continues to bring me to a healthier state of being and brings more ease to my daily life.

If you have never meditated, why not give it a try?  Ten minutes a day can work wonders.  

The book by Rod Stryker, The Four Desires is an interesting and practical book for anyone to enjoy and was my entry point into meditation.  I still listen to the Stryker meditation CD, especially for yoga nidra - a very nice and calming way to fall asleep.  

The author does a great job of explaining the natural desires of all humans  for happiness and success.  And further, he points out that lasting happiness is dependent on prospering both materially and spiritually.  It's a good read.

What Do YOU Think?........about new beginnings, discovering YOU and taking action? 

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I am grateful for you being here, right now, sharing your time with me.  Thank You!

Recently, I've realized that there are so many good TED Talks out there. If you haven't ever checked them out, I'd highly recommend.  (https://www.ted.com/talks/browse) 


I watched one recently about Which Country Does the Most Good for the World and was surprised by the list.  Many of the Ted Talks I've watched, surprise me.

Each TED Talk offers possibilities of looking in a new way at our approach to life and at how we think and act - highlighting the positive aspects of a global view and the interconnectedness we all share.

According to Peter Drucker, quoted in 2012, “The fastest growing field of modern mathematics is the theory of complexity. It shows, with rigorous mathematical proof, that complex systems do not allow prediction; they are controlled by factors that are not statistically significant. This has become known as the ‘butterfly effect’: a whimsical but mathematically rigorous (and experimentally proven) theorem shows that a butterfly flapping its wings in the Amazon rain forest can and sometimes does control the weather in Chicago a few weeks or months later."

Why should you care?

One of my favorite take-aways from a recent course I took called, Landmark Forum  was thinking about the vastness of what there actually is 'to know'.  

We can pretty easily wrap our brains around 'What I Know'.  ie. I know the English alphabet, how to read,  how to do research, how to make oatmeal, where to find good pizza etc.

We even have a good sense of 'What I don't know' and I realize that I don't know it.  Such as, I don't know Chinese, and I know I don't know Chinese.  I don't know how to fly a plane and know that I don't know how to fly.

Yet, what we know and what we know we don't know are so small compared to all that we don't even know that we don't know.    Yes - I realize that when I write this it looks like a typo, but it really isn't.  

To make it simpler for myself, I like to refer to the 'what we don't know that we don't know' as simply the unknown.  And there,  in the unknown, lie the greatest possibilities. 

Just think about the iphone first being released in 2007, and today add a slew of smart phones, tablets, communication through Skype and googlechats or imessages.  Airplanes did not allow, nor did they even envision the possibility of passengers connecting to internet in the air just a few years ago.  Who knows what tomorrow will bring?

As I am writing this I began thinking of my grandbaby and her reactions to wind and her new surroundings and the two dogs in her household, and so many people coming and going - all new, all unknown, every day for the most part.  

Embracing the future with the enthusiasm and sense of adventure that we all once knew as children, exploring everything in the world from the perspective of 'unknown'. 

Amazing, isn't it?  As children, we had no fear of the unknown.  

And from adults......... what I hear most often as the reason for not moving forward or not changing a less than desirable situation or pursuing something new - Fear of the unknown.  

We've all heard the phrase, 'the devil I know, vs the devil I don't know' - what's most interesting is that as adults we most naturally assume it's a "devil" on both sides of the statement.  So many possibilities that may never unfold due to fear of the unknown.

Thoughts, comments - what do you think?


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