This weeks topic was chosen thanks to another blog follower’s feedback. 

... I've been reading about, and struggling with, trying to not become obsessed with food as a consequence of trying to change habits and clean up our menu. For instance, I've learned that I can't track calories or the like because it consumes my attention. I truly couldn't focus on anything. It's an interesting study in balance between not thinking about food choices at all and thinking about nothing else.

There was so much to say, that I’ve broken this up into two blog posts.  So stay tuned for next week’s continuation of the discussion.

Such a great topic - Balance and Food Struggles

My favorite way of thinking of balance these days is “Effort with Ease”.  

We learned in yoga that muscles and the overall body will actually perform much better without forcing and straining.  The body automatically reacts and stiffens to protect when we overextend.

Easing into a further extension, with exertion but not pain, and being able to breathe smoothly and deeply while doing so, results in the body allowing the added stretch.   It really works and is one of the key reasons so many athletes use yoga to improve their performance in sports.  Another key reason is the balance that yoga fosters.


IN OUR PURSUIT OF BALANCE -  WHY IS IT SO HARD TO CHANGE HABITS?

When we are unhealthy and out of balance, our bodies crave unhealthy foods, drinks, substances and little to no physical activity. 

A body out of balance seeks to remain out of balance.  A healthy body seeks to remain healthy.

Changing food or any habit is challenging.  I've found some interesting stats and a story to share. 

How Long Does it Take for a Habit to Stick or to break an old Old Habit?

A myth since the 1960’s was that it took 21 days to form a new habit.  Researching, I still found self help sites and experts who claim 21 days as the rule. 

Here's the scoop behind that FALSE ‘FACT' of 21 days, 

A plastic surgeon during the 1960's, by the name of Dr Walz noticed that it took about 21 days for a patient to start accepting a new nose and the look of their face or stop having feelings of their phantom limb after amputation of an arm or leg.  He also noticed with himself, that it took about 21 days to form a new habit.  He mentioned the findings in a book, Psycho Cybernetics that became a best seller and sold 30 million copies.  

He noted the minimum was 21 days, and others repeated the information in telephone fashion - and the new ‘Self Help Rule’ became 21 days to form a new habit.

And I must admit, that until I began to do the research for this, I too thought that 21 days was correct.

How Long it Really Takes to Build a New Habit
Phillippa Lally is a health psychology researcher at University College London. In a study published in the European Journal of Social Psychology, Lally and her research team decided to figure out just how long it actually takes to form a habit.  These findings were reported in numerous publications recently.

On average, it takes more than two months before a new behavior becomes automatic -- 66 days to be exact. And how long it takes a new habit to form can vary widely depending on the behavior, the person, and the circumstances. In Lally's study, it took anywhere from 18 days to 254 days for people to form a new habit. [1]

The main takeaway from the story, besides noting we have been taught many untrue ‘facts’ - changing a habit is a process, with no quick fix.  You won’t become healthy in 18-254 days, but you can change your food habits in that timeframe to be on a path toward good health.

I can tell you that I have been through the pain of dozens of diets.  There was NO EASE in the diets.  Diets were always short term fixes for me, and a big part of the problem - my focus was on "weight loss” - not health.  

At the end of a diet, I was not healthier.  I weighed less.  There is a difference.  In a rush to lose weight, dieters inevitably use unhealthy practices to get the weight down.  We want quick fixes.

Thinner people are NOT necessarily healthy.

Once I reached my goal or close to my goal, I’d generally celebrate the loss with foods I’d given up to lose the weight.  It wouldn’t take long before I’d be right back where I started.

Then once again, when I was fed up with how I looked, OR how my clothes fit OR if some big reunion, wedding or social event was coming up - Yep, then I'd start another Diet.  And the cycle continued for most of my adult life.

I’ve never been extremely heavy, but have routinely been overweight and on some kind of diet.  I think I’ve tried them all.

For a focus on health, Lifestyle changes may be in order.

To put the Ease back into this balance discussion, start by simplifying. 

Stopping things I had done for years made way for a fresh outlook and approach:

A few Suggestions to try:

1. Stop counting calories. 
2. Stop weighing yourself  (I got rid of my scale.) I get weighed once a year at my annual physical.

Do your clothes fit comfortably?  When they don't, there's a problem.  There’s much less stress when you don’t daily look at a # that can fluctuate up and down depending on whether your body held more water from one day to the next.  Even if you are on a weight reduction program, going to a gym or doctor's office and weighing yourself once a month is better than daily.

    3. Stop the negative energy inherent with “in case I get Fat Clothes”.  (think of the space you will save and the help you may provide by giving away unused clothes to someone else)

I had a total closet purge about 6 months ago - topic for another blog posting - and that has been a significant lifestyle change, moving toward simplicity and feeling like I want to feel every day when I get dressed.  Definitely helps with balance.

***Note: women who plan to get pregnant should keep a variety of sizes, as they will need them.

More Suggestions:

Simplify by checking three things:

Added Salt Content

Added Sugar Content

Real Food Ingredients

Whole and naturally grown foods that are not processed will have few and recognizable ingredients - easy to check the labels when it says “Carrots” or “Rice” or “Sweet Potatoes” and has no or as few as possible preservatives and chemical additives.  

When a food has a list of ingredients you can’t pronounce or have no clue what they are -  don’t buy it!  When vitamins and minerals have to be artificially added in the form of ‘food additives’, it means there is little to no food value in the product.  Choose real food.

Cereals have been heavily marketed, and most of us bought the hype. I ate them and fed them to my kids - I just didn’t know better.  Now I do know better.  Eating processed cereal won't kill you, but know there are healthier food choices for you.

Even boxed granola should be eaten sparingly, as it is usually made with sweeteners and food additives.  I used to think I was having a really healthy snack by eating handfuls of granola while sitting and watching TV - at least I wasn’t eating chips right?  
Neither chips nor granola are snacks to eat limitlessly, as I did.

Small amounts of salt daily are necessary for life.  
Most of the foods we eat are preserved and processed with Way Too Much salt.

Sugar is important for the electrolyte balance in your body.  I learned the lesson of salt and sugar depletion when I became severely dehydrated with the flu. 

Yet, added sugars, used in processing foods are not necessary, nor desirable.  Those added sugars are what cause you to want to eat more in an hour or two.

Try to eliminate as much sugar as possible

Eat as few processed foods and processed ingredients as possible  

Sweet is a necessary and good taste that we all should enjoy and have for good health.  Generally there is natural sweetness that comes from fresh baked grain breads, sweet potatoes, squash and real fruits, to name a few.  When we are in balance and healthy, these foods will taste sweet to us.

Processed foods and foods with chemical additives are the toughest to give up - but also the most harmful to us, in that they are addictive in nature.  

Note that ‘sugar’ comes in many forms - check for High Fructose Corn Syrup, Sucrose, Dextrose, etc. - all forms of sugar to avoid as much as possible.

When the addictive cravings subside, it is much easier to choose healthier foods that are also flavorful, filling and enjoyable to eat.  You won’t feel deprived because your body will be healthier, more in balance.  

Balance isn’t a point you reach, and then you are always balanced.  I learned this from Ayurveda (a topic for a future article)

Every day we rebalance based on our schedule, based on the weather, based on life’s circumstances.  Approaching each day from a starting point of general good health makes keeping balance much easier.

To help with the transition to better health, Try out the 80-20 guide

80% of the time,  adhere to the healthiest and most balanced way of eating, living and overall lifestyle.  Then 20% is available for a special occasion or party or vacation.  

The key is to not let one day such as Christmas turn into an entire month of sugar laden, processed and rich foods and drinks etc.  

Retailers and the Food Industry have increased every holiday into an extended period of time.  Remember, they are first and foremost Businesses trying to make money.  


We allow others to influence our thoughts and actions.  It's up to us to keep balance and health in our lives.  

Part 2 on this topic will include more on positive lifestyle changes, plus reasons why we struggle so much with health and food issues.


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Whether it is Buddhist monks, Lululemon outfitted yogis or Wall Street Brokers, 
Meditation is helping people to handle life situations more calmly and tune into their intuitions much more reliably.

I had feedback from last week’s blog and a request for more on Mindfulness and Meditation -

“I think you should do more on mindfulness and meditation.   Like can one meditate well while walking?   Or other ways of coming at it.”

You may recall from last week, that I mentioned an extensive Harvard study and a body of work that scientifically demonstrates the stress reduction effects and benefits of mindfulness training.  

Stress reduction is key in serious health issues such as heart disease, cancer and depression to name a few.  Other studies have shown meditation keeps us sharper as we age, and yet another study showed correlations between meditation and the prevalence of disease.

Since my personal meditation experience is less than a year of practicing, and only recently have I developed a ‘regular’, daily practice, I am sharing my research findings and quoting others who have vast experience in mindfulness.

To better understand whether meditation can be done while walking or using various techniques, let’s start with defining it and creating a common base of language.

The most clear and simple explanations I have found follow:

Mindful people are those who consciously live in the present.  


They can step back a bit, watching their current of thoughts, while NOT getting swept away by the content.  They are present to whatever they are currently thinking, without attachment.

Meditation fosters mindfulness. 

"People think the goal of meditation is to empty the mind," says Mike Brooks, an Austin Texas psychologist at Austin Psychology and Assessment Center. "It’s not about clearing the mind; it’s about focusing on one thing. When the mind wanders, the meditation isn’t a failure. Our brain is like a wayward puppy, out of control. Catching it and putting it back to the object of focus is the meditation.”

And meditation expert Andy Puddicombe shared at the TEDSalon in London, 

“Most people assume that meditation is all about stopping thoughts, getting rid of emotions, somehow controlling the mind, but actually it’s much different than that”. “It’s more about stepping back, seeing the thought clearly--witnessing it coming and going--without judgment, but with a relaxed, focused mind.”


My own experience is that meditation takes some practice.  It will seem a bit strange at first.  In time, the focusing on breath and just observing thoughts may also result in seeing colors or shapes or clearings or pictures - any, all or none of these may appear during your meditation.  Just know, whatever your experience, it is great - just keep doing it - daily if possible, and breathe and focus.

As for walking and meditating - NOT a good idea for walking to work in an urban setting, with people and stoplights and cars to navigate.  

Your brain must be ‘on alert’ for this type of walking.

However, a less dangerous and easy, well known route of walking your dog perhaps, or taking a hike or strolling along a very familiar stretch of beach, while focusing your attention on one thing - your breath is the easiest, but the sound of the waves, or the feel of the ground beneath your feet can also work.  

When your mind begins to wander - notice that it has, and bring it back to the original focus.

Breathing is the easiest focus because it is always with us and a ‘present activity’. 
We cannot listen to or focus on yesterday’s breath.

Some of the meditation experts I’ve read are so intent on getting people to meditate, that they say meditating while biking, running, doing dishes and a host of other activities is ok.  

Though I’m no expert, I’m doubtful and cannot agree with these suggestions.  

I am careful to not get carried away with thinking walking and meditating are compatible - ONLY in certain situations would meditation be effective AND safe, while walking - at least for me.

My feet seem to find every crack and stone when I run or walk.  I need my attention focused on the path to not fall on my face:)

I can easily have my mind running in the background while I run, thinking of what I plan to do for the day or practicing a presentation or listening to music.  


But none of those activities are meditation.

Being mindful while walking or running or biking or doing most anything is very doable and encouraged.  Practicing meditation will improve your ability to be mindful and in the present, as an observer of thought flow.

Just starting to meditate? 

The OpenMind Training Institute breaks it down into the following 

FOUR STEPS: 

1. Sit in a comfortable cross-legged position, or in a straight-backed chair with your feet on the floor, or lie down. If seated, close your eyes gently; if you lie down, keep your eyes slightly open.  

*Though I personally often close my eyes lying down.  If you fall asleep, you are no longer meditating:)

2. Set an alarm. Try meditating for between 10 and 20 minutes. 

3. Concentrate on your breath as it enters and leaves your nostrils, or
on the rise and fall of your belly. 

4. When thoughts, feelings, or sensations arise, don't try too hard to push them away. Mentally acknowledge them, but then try to concentrate again on your breathing.

The practice of meditation to promote mindfulness seems difficult in today’s world of constant stimulation.  Yet, there are about 18 million U.S. adults practicing meditation according to a recent study from the National Institutes of Health and Centers for Disease Control.  Worldwide, there are many millions more.

Meditation has improved my life!  What have you got to lose?  Give it a try!

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There is now science backed evidence that should scare all of us about the dangers of too much sitting.  

An analysis of 47 studies examining links between sitting and mortality has produced a definitive conclusion:  “People who sit most of the day have an increased chance of developing diabetes, heart disease, and cancer and tend to have shorter life spans.”

People who sit for long periods of time throughout the day are 24% more likely to die from health problems than those who sat less.  And exercise helps, but it CANNOT completely counteract the effects of sitting.  And think about our typical evening after we've left a day of sitting at work - more sitting at home.

What’s the BIG TAKEAWAY?  
Get Off your Butt! “Move as much as you can when you’re not exercising”. 


Next - The Harvard Business Review published Mindfulness Can Literally Change Your Brain, following extensive cross checking of 20 different studies.

“Recent research provides strong evidence that practicing non-judgmental, present-moment awareness (a.k.a. mindfulness) changes the brain, and it does so in ways that anyone working in today’s complex business environment, and certainly every leader, should know about.”

Further, neuroscientists have been studying the effects of meditation on the brain and performance.  The science backed findings about mindfulness and meditation are quite astounding and promising for any of us who choose to learn the techniques.

What’s the BIG TAKEAWAY?  
We can Change our brains to adapt better to today’s ever increasing distractions and self-regulate to stay focused and perform at a more optimal level on whatever task we choose. 

While Harvard Business Review shared the powerful benefits of Mindfulness and Meditation, The New York Times reports findings from the latest study done by British researchers at the University of Birmingham.  

Researchers studied sedentary, but generally healthy office workers.  The office workers were given a simple exercise regime - walk for 30 minutes at lunch, three times a week - at whatever pace they wanted.  The study lasted for 10 weeks and daily the workers were asked a set of questions about their mood and about their performance throughout the study.

What’s the BIG TAKEAWAY?  
While many employers expect their employees to work through their lunch break, people who get out for a walk would be happier and more enthusiastic and “more productive”.

It is my intention through sharing this information that we are each able to live happy, healthy and loving lives:)


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I made a few interesting observations this week, and noted a pattern about teaching and learning and independence.

I babysat for my grand baby Friday night.  While playing with her Friday and Saturday morning, it was clear to me that she was focused on standing up by herself.  

She couldn’t quite do it without assistance.  She had the strength, and she had the flexibility - but it hadn’t all quite ‘clicked’ for her.  My son spent the entire afternoon with Vivian trying to work her way up to standing. She was using his leg for support and he then helped her for the final push up.  

Then on Sunday, her mom fortunately caught her on video attempting to pull herself up on the coffee table in front of the sofa.  She made two solid attempts, and with an ever so slight adjustment in her hips that made all the difference, she triumphantly stood up! 

She continued to stand up and sit down the rest of the day and every couple hours that night too, much to her parents dismay.  She was so intent on doing the standing over and over once she got it.  No one told her to practice.  She knew it instinctively.

I, my son and daughter in law tried to show Vivi how to pull up and stand, but she needed to put it all together for herself.  

We could not teach her that moment when it all 'clicks'.  

It’s amazing to think about, but we really can’t fully explain to ourselves how we stand up, let alone explain it to a baby.  We just do it naturally, and now, so will Vivi for the rest of her life.

The second observation was made at a Rotary meeting.  The parent organization is comprised of mainly over 50, successful business professionals.  They’ve been in their careers for some time. They like the networking of Rotary and are service minded people that join together for meetings and fellowship, while contributing to the community and society.

There is a younger group of professionals under 40 mainly and more women in the group, that have been creating their version of Rotary for a couple of years, as a satellite of the ‘parent’ group.  The word ‘parent’ is the keyword, as this group is not comfortable with the oversight of the umbrella club. 

Independence and ‘doing it our own way’ are the driving forces of the satellite group.  Structure and adherence to policy and protocol is a necessity for the larger Rotary group. The different styles are causing some disharmony in this organization.

Both groups are well intentioned, and as my mom recently said “It seems a shame that what we’ve learned in life is seldom listened to by the next generation.”  

And so it often goes, with any age, I contend.  

We have a natural instinct, just as Vivi did,  to ‘figure it out ourselves’.  The “click” that needs to occur for us to master or embrace the challenge we are struggling with, must come from within.  

Others can guide us to a point and can provide the initial awareness of the possibility - but then, it’s up to us to actually conquer the challenge.  No one can teach us without our internal “aha moment” of “yes I get it now” happening.

The last observation this week, came in yoga class, where I noticed that the teacher really leads us through a set of postures verbally, demonstrating at times and gently and slightly adjusting our positioning, mainly to insure we do not harm ourselves and so we get closer to the ‘feel’ of the position.  We must actually do the postures and breathe into them as suggested.  

No one can do it for us.  Nor can they teach it to us through words and demonstrations.

No matter what words are used to instruct, if my body is not yet ready to do a posture, I will not be able to do it.  I must teach myself and gradually over time, everything may “click” and I will be able to do whatever I set my mind and intentions on.

There is often a push and pull among generations, and I believe it is healthy.  

Experience is a great teacher, but up to a point.  

We each have unique gifts to share and different life paths, even when they appear to be generally the same.    

The beauty of teaching and coaching for me is leading to self discovery.  

We are the designer of our own destiny, and others can provide guideposts and shed some light along the path.  

Ultimately, we either learn or we don’t.  In the truest sense, WE TEACH OURSELVES, through discovery and using the wisdom of others to light our paths.

I encourage you to Leave a comment below or post one on my BestYOU facebook page. Sharing your thoughts is a gift to all of us!

Please let me know if there is an issue you'd like me to write about. Your issue may be the one everyone is waiting to hear about.  Thanks!

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