As promised in a prior blog, I'd like to expand on this topic a bit more.
Lesson #1 ALLOWING OTHERS TO HELP YOU IS LOVING YOURSELF AND LOVING THEM - I had offers of help, even in the sub zero temps we were experiencing in Chicago. A dear friend braved the frigid temperatures to go to the store. She bought me the fruits, oatmeal and soup that I needed to build some strength once I was rehydrated. Plus she added lovely tulips to bring a bit of a smile to my weary face and warm my spirit. And to think I almost didn’t let her. Why do we struggle so much with asking for and accepting help? It is the usual culprit that stops us from all sorts of things - FEAR. Fear of rejection, fear of appearing weak, fear of not being worthy of someone going out of their way for us - all of these Fears or one of these fears are at play. When someone says ‘no’ to us, for whatever reason they have, it is quite natural to personalize and make the ‘no’ be about us. They must not like us or they think we are a bother. Rather than accepting that the ‘no’ meant nothing, merely ‘no’. Those internal self doubt feelings lead us right to the fear of ‘not being worthy’. These are the fear emotions that fuel the conversation in our head. We say to ourselves that the other person has more important things to do than help us, and we generally feel that asking them to go out of their way is imposing on their ‘more important’ life and activities that are in their life. Or in the case of sub-zero temps, I struggled with thinking I was subjecting others to inconvenience and discomfort. I heard the voice in my head asking, why would they want to freeze, just because I am sick? A FEAR that men face even more often than women, due to the societal roles generally accepted for men - the fear of appearing weak. Also many women, including me, do not like to appear weak or incapable of caring for themselves. Delays in asking for help often are good indicators of that particular fear in many of us. So what are we to do when these voices in our head create feelings of fear? And in case you are wondering, we do all have a voice in our head that tries to direct us, pretty much at all times. For those of you saying, ‘what voice in my head’ as you read this - that’s the voice! :) What we need to do is to silence the barrage of fear with new and powerful thoughts. Love is the most powerful. Loving ourselves is doing what we need for our own health, including asking others to help us when we need it. We ALL MATTER! We are ALL WORTHY! We each deserve happiness, good health and love. It was wonderful to graciously accept help from family and a friend who shared caring and love with me. It felt great, and my health quickly returned, along with my happiness to feel good again. Next time the voice in your head starts ranting on and on with fears of rejection, self doubt and weakness - LOVE YOURSELF, & calmly take your next actions with Love as your guidepost! I encourage you to Leave a comment below or post one on my BestYOU facebook page. Sharing your thoughts is a gift to all of us! Please let me know if there is an issue you'd like me to write about. Your issue may be the one everyone is waiting to hear about. Thanks! If you know someone who may like to sign up for my blog posts, please share this link with them. Thanks! My struggle with this question surfaced as an interesting topic when I was writing last week’s blog, following my bout with the flu. You might recall: Lesson #2 CHOOSING HEALTH OVER A PARTY IS NOT EASY I had been looking forward to a friend’s birthday party on Saturday night for weeks. I like getting dressed up and dancing and having a good time as much as anyone does. I chose to sit this party out, and it wasn't easy for me to do. (watch for blog about this topic coming soon) I’ve often wondered about two life approaches that people regularly quote: ‘Life is Short, and so Live NOW’ - this mantra is heard usually after a loved one or someone we know dies. ‘Live and Plan for Tomorrow - Better Safe than Sorry’ - for the savers and those of us who are more future oriented. For me, both statements have always been true, and therein lies some conflict. It is also part of why it was difficult for me to choose NOT going to the party………..I wanted the fun of NOW. With my life possibility being a happy, healthy and loving world - beginning with me - I had this running dialogue in my head about being healthy or being loving with regard to the party attendance. The conversation was more like a tug of war, trying to have 'loving' or 'healthy' dominate. The possibility of both healthy and loving wasn’t initially an option. My mind was busy playing tricks on me. In the past, I would have considered it positive to show up for the party and for my friend, despite my health. Besides, I thought, even though weak, I was able to keep food down now, and the fever and headache were gone….... The ‘Live for Now’ approach. Many of us do this in our workplaces too - feeling a little better, so go to work and 'tough it out' . With my more current mind tug of war, there was the side that tried hard to note the ‘loving’ gesture of attending the party. That side and argument seemed strong, as it matched up with my past ‘Live for Now’ approach, so it felt comfortable and ‘right’. I further justified that in going I would be a good friend and someone who goes above and beyond for others. I and others would have assured me that after a couple of drinks, I wouldn’t feel a thing, and so the partying would go on. When in reality, the justification about friendship and being loving was much more about throwing caution to the wind, so I could join in the fun. Exposing my friend and everyone else to my germs, plus stressing my own immune system further would not have been convincing arguments to keep me home in the past. I would have pushed myself when deep down I knew better......but I refused to listen to how my body was really feeling. I’m not sure what finally gave me some clarity on the situation, maybe the ‘magic oranges’ that my friend bought me to strengthen me after being sick. I told her the oranges tasted so delicious that it was like the first time I had ever eaten one. Whatever it was, I paused a bit and honestly considered the situation. I plan to be friends with the birthday girl for years to come. There will be other celebrations of all kinds to share, and each of them unique and wonderful in their own way. Missing one birthday didn’t mean I wasn’t a good friend. I had sent her a gift, and I let her know that I did not feel party-ready. I was not well enough to join in THAT night, but that I looked forward to other celebrations yet to come with her. I was certainly living in the present, by paying attention to how my body felt and what my energy level really was and then choosing and acting accordingly. If I had gone to the party, I would have chosen to ignore the present condition I was in and the signals my body was clearly sending, and instead chosen to live FOR the party - not really living for the Present, but for the Party. What’s interesting to me is that I finally realized going to the party would have made the party more important than me, my health, my friend or her friends or any others that I would have encountered throughout the night. Not loving at all, and not healthy either. It shouldn’t have even been a tough decision, and yet it really was. I kept envisioning getting ready and being at the party and talking and dancing, and what I was wearing and how I would fix my hair. There will be a next time:) In the end, I’m so glad I chose to be happy, healthy and loving! I encourage you to Leave a comment below or post one on my BestYOU facebook page. Sharing your thoughts is a gift to all of us! Please let me know if there is an issue you'd like me to write about. Your issue may be the one everyone is waiting to hear about. Thanks! If you know someone who may like to sign up for my blog posts, please share this link with them. Thanks! ![]() A tough week battling the flu provided lots of opportunities for me to learn a thing or two about myself. In the past, I’d rarely shared with others that I was sick. I usually suffered through on my own, maybe sharing with one or two people but selectively if at all. This time I was glad that I had let quite a few people know that I was sick. Turns out, I needed them and was grateful for their support. Lesson #9 CHECK EXPIRATION DATES 2 Advil do nothing to relieve severe headache and fever pain..........when the meds expired in early 2009. Lesson #8 DESPERATION CAN REVEAL CREATIVE, even if ineffective SOLUTIONS I tried everything from frozen peas (organic from Austria no less:) on my head, to rubbing fresh pineapple on my forehead, to ice cubes rubbed on my neck to alleviate the pain. I taped a Tefla pad over a paste made of ginger and turmeric powders mixed with warm water on my forehead overnight too. Each of these helped a bit and gave me short periods of lessened pain. Lesson #7 CHECK EXPIRATION DATES In my ginger/turmeric paste making, I discovered more than half of my spices were also expired. Eeeesh. Lesson #6 A LITTLE BETTER DOES NOT MEAN GREEN LIGHT - GO On the third morning, after my body stopped expelling food, I felt a little better. In my determined and 'I Can Push Through It' way, I managed to make myself worse due to the activities I started doing during the morning. Too much and too soon Lesson #5 REPEAT - A LITTLE BETTER DOES NOT MEAN GREEN LIGHT - GO Nope, I didn’t learn from the prior morning, and instead I justified that I was doing different activities so it would be ok. I pushed ahead only to make myself worse again by afternoon. Lesson #4 WATER & TEA ARE NOT ENOUGH TO REHYDRATE following flu symptoms of vomiting, fever and diarrhea…………keep a bottle of Gatorade or two on hand or use following homemade recipe that I used thanks to my son in law. It was a lifesaver for sure. 1 liter water (5 cups) 6 teaspoons sugar 1/2 teaspoon salt Drink 3 liters within 24 hours. Only one day of this solution should be necessary. Lesson #3 LETTING OTHERS KNOW WHEN YOU ARE SICK IS REALLY OK, PROVIDES LOVING SUPPORT AND IS SAFER TOO I’m so glad that I had texted my kids and some friends about being sick. I would have likely ended up in the hospital with dehydration if I hadn't. Their love helped too. Lesson #2 CHOOSING HEALTH OVER A PARTY IS NOT EASY I had been looking forward to a friend’s birthday party on Saturday night for weeks. I like getting dressed up and dancing and having a good time as much as anyone does. I chose to sit this party out, and it wasn't easy for me to do. (watch for blog about this topic coming soon) Lesson #1 ALLOWING OTHERS TO HELP YOU IS LOVING YOURSELF AND LOVING THEM I had offers of help, even in the sub zero temps we were having in Chicago. A dear friend braved the frigid temperatures to go to the store. She bought me the fruits, oatmeal and soup that I needed to build some strength once I was rehydrated. Plus she added lovely tulips to bring a bit of a smile to my weary face and warm my spirit. And to think I almost didn’t let her. (another blog topic I think:) I encourage you to Leave a comment below or post one on my BestYOU facebook page. Sharing your thoughts is a gift to all of us! Please let me know if there is an issue you'd like me to write about. Your issue may be the one everyone is waiting to hear about. Thanks! If you know someone who may like to sign up for my blog posts, please share this link with them. Thanks! ![]() COMING SOON - BestYOU Featured Guests! I am excited to feature and share with you people, products and services that support a happy, healthy and loving world. Details coming soon. Reflections at the end of the year are fun. This year has been *challenging and full of opportunity, with starting a new business; *interesting, with lots of learning and new experiences; *fun, with two new grand daughters born within 4 months of each other; *exciting with trips to London and Istanbul; *and pretty much incredible in many ways. My dad always told us that if you see a penny on the street, you should bend down and pick it up. If you do, it will be lucky, because it means that ‘more good fortune is coming your way’. He cautioned that if you don’t bend down to pick it up, it meant you already had too much money. Throughout the year, I found pennies here and there. Once I found two pennies within a foot of each other and felt like I was really lucky that day. Last week, I found a dollar bill! Wow - I think my dad was trying to really get my attention with that street money. It was wet, and I had to dry it out, but it was the real thing AND, I did feel incredibly lucky. It made me feel hopeful about good fortune continuing to bless me with abundance….........……so that I can be loving and generous, which makes me happy:) Besides lucky pennies and a wet dollar, here are my Top 5 Unexpected Blessings in 2014: #5 Sleeping uninterrupted through the night is possible for me and wonderful, thanks to gradually implementing some Ayurveda lifestyle and food choices, plus consistently practicing yoga, mindful breathing and meditation at wonderful Tejas Yoga Studio. #4 Living a life I love is what I choose daily. I am so glad that my trust in a friend and my inner call to explore, led me to the transformational experiences of the Landmark Forum and Landmark’s Curriculum for Living. My life lens is forever changed! I love being the possibility of a happy, healthy and loving world! #3 Gifts of Generosity can come unexpectedly and as a means to move us along our path. The totally unexpected and extremely generous gift of an airfare ticket for my birthday is making possible a trip in 2015 to a yoga retreat and Ayurveda conference. #2 Supportive and Love Filled Cards and Notes from two college sorority sisters on the same day - as they say, ‘priceless’. Thanks Beth and Kathi:) #1 Being a “Grammy” is Amazing and Grand babies are Rare Gifts that radiate pure Love and Joy! My married children have given us gifts of life, with Vivian and Aurelia, and I am delighted and thankful beyond words for these two precious, little babies. I encourage you to Leave a comment below or post one on my BestYOU facebook page. Sharing your thoughts is a gift to all of us! Please let me know if there is an issue you'd like me to write about. Your issue may be the one everyone is waiting to hear about. Thanks! If you know someone who may like to sign up for my blog posts, please share this link with them. Thanks! |
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